Masturbation, aka solo sex, is essentially just you pleasuring yourself and, despite what society might tell you, it is incredibly normal to masturbate. In fact, masturbation can actually increase the pleasure you experience in sexual encounters with someone else because you 1) know what works for you and 2) know what it feels like. It’s also the safest form of sex that doesn’t risk pregnancy and/or STIs.
If you were lucky enough to learn about masturbation in your sex-education curriculum at school, you probably were also only taught about masturbating with a penis and not a vagina. Similar to the orgasm gap, there is a gendered masturbation gap that produces a stigma of shame around vaginal masturbation. We want to change that stigma. While there is no pressure to masturbate, there should also be no shame in doing so either.
Everyone has their own methods and techniques for masturbation, but if you’ve never masturbated before here is a good place to start.
It can be difficult to fully enjoy a solo sex session if you are feeling ashamed or even guilty for engaging in it. Remember that masturbating is incredibly normal and the majority of people do it.
The first time you masturbate might not be great or end in an orgasm! That’s ok! Remember that there are so many different ways to masturbate; you might just need to try a few more to figure out what works for you.
Make sure you are in a comfortable environment. Create an arousing ambiance. Maybe turn on some sexy music, turn off the light or put on a sexy outfit. Watch ethical porn (see page). If you don’t want to watch porn, find a sex scene in a movie you love.
Just like in sex with another person, change up your position.
Masturbate in front of a mirror so you can see everything and everything going on. This can feel incredibly empowering.
Try to remove the pressure of orgasming or how it should feel and concentrate on exactly what you are feeling and how it feels.
In addition to the clitoris, vagina, and penis - play with your other erogenous zones. There are a plethora of erogenous zones but some good ones include:
Need some tips for masturbating with a penis? Looking for ways to spice up your solo sex routine? Look no further! Here are some great tips for masturbating with a penis:
Need some tips for masturbating with a vagina? Looking for ways to spice up your solo sex routine? Look no further! Here are some great tips for masturbating with a vagina: